Black Heart, Bright Soul | Page 2

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Black Heart, Bright Soul
Chapter 7: The Seeds of the Field​

"If you find yourself struggling with doubt, just remember the one golden rule: the rest of your competition doubts themselves, too. Don't overestimate them, but don't underestimate yourself, either. You're better than you realize."
~ Ada Pinkett, former champion of the Lanark Coordinator's Society 2007-2009​

"Relax, Kim... It's just a practice session, nothing more," Kimberly whispered to herself. "Besides, maybe it'd be good to see him again... Maybe I just haven't given him -- anyone -- enough time for a spark to form..."

She was taking refuge in the bathroom of the Holly Hill Recreation Center, a location that was popular with Pokémon trainers and coordinators for its expansive main floor and its numerous -- and also spacious -- private rooms. In just under an hour, she was meant to begin the final stretch of her lessons before the big event that the last few months of her life have been leading to, the contest that would be her big debut in the coordination scene: the Flower of Aughrim. It had only been two months since she started training, and her mind was preoccupied by doubts about whether she was ready to compete -- after all, most people didn't try breaking into the scene until they'd practiced for longer.

She found herself staring into her reflection in the mirror, attempting to soothe her nerves for her upcoming practice session, but she found it troublingly difficult. She just couldn't put aside the worries that she wasn't ready at all, and all of the time she could spend practicing still wouldn't be enough; she was nervous about getting stage fright, that her skills weren't up to her own standards, and that the outfit she decided to wear for the contest wasn't ready yet.

As she thought it over, she stared into her reflection again, and just as the previous day, her imperfections stood out immensely. Her hand disappeared into her purse, returning with her makeup kit. As she started her work, the door to the bathroom opened up and two women entered, deeply enthralled by the conversation they were engaged in.

"...supposedly got a competitive trainer competing in this one with us, a league champion even! Wonder how those talents will translate into coordination..."

"We do? Who is it?"

"She's got a funny name I can't pronounce... Senna Kros... Kr... Kr? Senna something. She's a Kanetska girl."

"Oh! I heard her name, but nothing about her."

"I'm not sure I believe it, considering the diplomatic tension between our two countries, but supposedly she's a retired three star general from the Iron Union. She defected a couple years ago, I heard? But she looked really young, there's no way she could be some high ranking general."

"Woah, woah. Get the fuck out. She's a league champion and a Kanetska military brat? She's gonna mop the fucking floor with us! They're like, superhuman! They don't fuck around where she's from!"

"Yeah, that strict culture they have of rigid efficiency has its perks sometimes... But where did she even find the time to do all of that?"

Wow..! You hear that..? A league champion is coming to rain on your parade... Why even bother competing..?

Kimberly listened intently to the two girls gossip as they entered the stalls. She felt bad about eavesdropping, but it sounded as if they were talking about the upcoming coordination contest; if there was any valuable information to learn about her fellow contestants, it was worth breaching her personal etiquette -- she knew next to nothing about who was competing, and hadn't even seen a list of names.

"She's not the only person to worry about. Guess who else I saw was signed up? You familiar with the name Petyr Milos?"

"Uhh... Maybe? Is he that guy who came into the Lanark Coordinator's Society out of nowhere and tore it up like a tornado a few years ago?"

"Yeah, that's the guy. Started out completely unknown, then absolutely dominated the scene for three years, only to retire out of the blue and never explain why."

"Don't tell me he came out of retirement..."

"Nope! Why would he even come back to the beginner leagues, anyways? Nah, he's got a protege now, girl by the name of Kimberly Fairbrooke, and she's entering, too."

She perked up and paused her makeup application for a brief moment. While she saw herself as an expert of her own life and reputation, she was interested to know what other contestants thought of her.

"Never heard of her."

"I don't know a lot about her myself, but one of my friends told me to watch out for her. She's the daughter of one of the country's richest philanthropists, the lady who runs the Valenzi Foundation... I shudder to think of the connections that girl's got. She's supposedly also the training partner of that rising superstar over in the Rose League, Nicole Spencer."

"Why are all of these rich professionals coming into our beginner league? We're fucked, aren't we? This girl sounds like serious business, as well... Hopefully her and the military brat are some of the flame-outs. Lots of big names sign up to these and never bother to show up, don't they?"

Almost in sync with each other, the pair emerged from their stalls and gathered at the sink on either side of her. She was cautious that they'd recognize her and cease their gossip, but it seemed they were completely oblivious to the fact that their subject was standing between them.

"Yeah, hope so. I don't know a lot about either of them, but if what I'm hearing is true... I mean, this Senna girl? A three star general and league champion, and she's under 30 years old? And she's not in a military prison being interrogated night and day after defecting? It doesn't make sense, and I don't believe most of it... I'm also hearing some stuff about that Fairbrooke girl that's relieving, and we might not have to worry about her in the end, either."

"Oh yeah?"

"She's pretty wealthy, yeah? Like, ridiculously wealthy. Money can buy connections, maybe even a stewardship under a certain retired legend, but it can't buy skill or natural talent. Heard she's only been training for a month or so? She shouldn't be a problem, we've been practicing a lot longer," the one said before they broke away from the sinks and headed for the door. "I've also heard that her and this Petyr Milos fella? Sounds like --"

And with that, the two left the room, as did her chance to learn some juicy gossip about herself.

Oh boy..! Wonder what kind of scandalous rumors you were about to hear..! Can't imagine they were ones that would make you look good...

"Rumors... Does everyone know about Petyr and I? I guess Nicole was right, maybe it was naive of me to think it could be kept a secret... But what other possible rumors could there be about me? I haven't dipped my toes into the scene at all yet..."

Good luck keeping your relationship with Petyr a secret now... You don't have his fancy studio to hide away in this time...

That was another big worry of hers, her mentor. Even though he'd been officially retired from the Society for three years, even going as far as publicly distancing himself from it, there was still a lot of buzz about him in the overall field of coordination. For years, there were questions about whether he'd take on any understudies, like most former champions of the Society did, but he refused. Refused until he met Kimberly, at least, and adopted her as his only student -- another break from tradition for former champions.

But why did he pick you of all people, huh..? You're a complete nobody in the coordination scene, someone who only had a sparkle of interest in coordination twinkling in her eye...

A large part of it had to do with her mother introducing the two to each other, but that still didn't answer the question of why such a legend would take on a complete nobody as his first student. Did he view honing her unrefined skills as a worthy challenge for him? Or perhaps he couldn't take the buzz around his lack of a student any longer and picked the first person he found who displayed any interest? Maybe he just found a pretty girl and thought their shared passion would help bring him closer to her?

They'd been practicing together for nearly two months, and she still had so many questions about his motives; all of her theories seemed like reasonable ones, but all of them also cast her relationship with him -- both professional and personal -- in a negative light.

You know the real reason why... It's a means to an end... You've noticed the practice sessions are getting shorter and the dates are getting longer, right..? He's letting your dream down all so you'll go down on him...

She shook her head. "Ugh! Not today! I put up with you enough last night." She reached for her purse and unzipped the side pocket, pulling out the sole object inside, her bottle of Tenzepam pills. She fought against her shaking hands and opened the cap, poured two into the palm of her hand, then stuck them into her mouth. With a handful of tepid water from the tap, she washed them down and put the bottle back. "Hopefully they work in time..."

She sighed as she clasped her hands together, closed her eyes and leaned over the sink in silent reflection, an attempt to empty her mind, but alas; all she could focus on was her twitching hands.

Compared to previous days, that voice in the back of her mind that only focused on the negatives in her life had started early, and it was downright venomous. She thought she was in the proper headspace for her upcoming competition, but the stress and anxiety were in full attack mode, and she wondered why -- it's not like it would be the first time she'd be appearing on a televised broadcast in front of thousands of viewers, if not more. She quietly lamented to herself that it was too early to be dealing with this, but no amount of wishful thinking had ever made those doubts go away in the past.

Doubt tended to follow her wherever she went, accompany her in whatever she tried to do with her life. When she flirted with becoming an oil-on-canvas artist, her mind seemed dead set on comparing herself to the god-like renaissance masters -- anything less was a waste of time. When she put effort into her violin skills, she always felt that she was learning through brute force and operating from muscle memory, rather than being able to adapt her abilities and improvise on the classics, perhaps even compose her own melodies -- one of her goals when she started. Similar brushes with doubt took place with every new thing she attempted to turn into a career; sketch artist, fashion designer, competitive Pokémon trainer, everything. The worst part was that she could never figure out why. Likewise, none of the treatments or suggestions that her various therapists and doctors had given her over the years were particularly effective, granting her a few hours of relief at best.

Just turn around and go home... Why are you even trying this..? Those two gossiping bitches were right... all the money and connections in the world can't buy skill, there's people competing that are better than you'll ever be, and you haven't been practicing enough to cover your shortfalls... Well, unless you wanna buy out the judges, financially or otherwise...

"Goddess deliver me..." she whispered softly as she ran her hand through her hair rough and hard, almost clawing away at herself. "Feels like my medicine has been getting less and less effective..."

She stared into the mirror yet again. The imperfections were still obvious to her, despite her efforts at hiding them, but perhaps that was the best she could do -- hide them and hope no one noticed. She put her makeup kit back into her purse, took a deep breath and headed for the exit. As she stepped back out into the hallway adjacent to the lobby, she spotted Mr. Tobey leaned up against a support pillar, his attention held captive by a display case full of trophies and ribbons. She approached.

"...do I miss my boxing days... Should'a kept with it... Would'a gone pro if I hadn't joined the Royal Navy... Could'a spent my days breaking guys in two, with my bare hands!" she overheard as she approached. "Ah! You all set?"

"Yes," she said with a nod. "By the way, did you see two women come out of the bathroom before me? A tall redhead and a blonde just a bit taller than me?"

He nodded.

"What were they talking about?"

"Oh. Umm. I dunno, I wasn't paying attention. I was over here looking at these fancy trophies, anyways. Probably couldn't have heard them even if I cared."

"I see... Well, I guess we should go find the room Petyr rented out for me."

He bowed his head and pointed in a random direction. "Lead the way, young miss."

Didn't you ask him to stop calling you things like that..? He's not listening...

"I'm... actually not sure where we're going," she bashfully said as she retreated to her phone for guidance. "Let's see... Petyr said we're in room 202-A. Surely that must be upstairs?" she idly mused as she looked around. "Now where are the stairs..."

"Pretty sure I saw the stairs back that way," Mr. Tobey said, pointing his thumb over his shoulder. "Had your nose buried in that phone of yours and didn't notice, right?"

"M-maybe."

"This is partially why I'm around, you know. You're always staring into that thing instead of paying attention to your surroundings. Inattentiveness like that can get you into a world of trouble."

Even he thinks you're a dumb bimbo... And maybe he's right, eh..?"

She frowned, turned her phone off and put it away into her purse. "I hate that you're right about that. Shall we, then?"

She recognized the older one, an old acquaintance from her days at a gymnastics class in her hometown of Visalia -- Alexandra Goldbough. The identity of the younger one escaped her, though she looked vaguely familiar; perhaps she was one of the many socialites she interacted with during her time working for charity? Her casual and immodest attire certainly didn't paint her as one, however.

As she neared the top of the stairs, Alexandra's face lit up. "My, my! Is that Kimberly I see?"

"Helloooo," she happily said as she climbed the final step. "It's been a while, hasn't it? Almost three years?"

"Oh, darling," Alexandra said as she reached out for a hug. "I saw your name on the list of contestants for the Flower of Aughrim, but I'm actually surprised to see you here! You've been crazy busy!"

"Heh, I suppose I have been... Mother keeps me working! I've been making more time for my practice sessions, though. I must say, I should be the one surprised to see you instead! How are you finding the time to practice? Didn't you drop out of our gymnastics classes to take care of the kids when your husband left?"

"Ex-husband, now. And yes... But I'm getting a little bit of help these days, so I'm finding myself with a bit of free time. Thank you, Grandma Goldbough..." Alexandra glanced at her younger companion and nodded in her direction. "I'd like to introduce you to my dearest friend, Britnee. She's following me into the field of coordination."

Britnee crossed her arms and smirked. "Other way around. I seem to remember that I was the one who started training first."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Britnee," she said. "Are you both competing in the Flower of Aughrim as well?"

Alexandra nodded. "Uh huh! Brit and I have been practicing together since last September. Based on the list of names we've seen so far, we're pretty confident we can take the first and second places, and it'll probably be a tough race between me and her. I'm so hyped to see what the judges think!"

"Heh, I admire your confidence..." she said nervously. "I'm just here to have fun, if I'm honest. A win would be nice, but I'm not expecting one. Everyone around me is, though..."

"Tt. Of course they are," Britnee snidely remarked. "You're one of those high society types, aren't you? Already got a leg up on me and Alex."

"What to you mean by that?"

"People just treat you differently, don't they? Always polite, always accommodating, I bet. Girls like me and Alex have to earn our respect."

The girl's got a point... When's the last time someone back home was rude to you..? You're an unmarried, beautiful, wealthy, young woman... Of course people aren't going to badmouth you...

Alexandra seemed as if she could sense something bubbling up and tried to change the subject by making a very obvious and very exaggerated nod towards Mr. Tobey, who she'd been eyeing curiously since he and Kimberly arrived. "So, who is this handsome fella? I never knew you were into tall guys, Kim! Wow!" She put her hand atop Kimberly's head and guided it over towards Mr. Tobey, ending at the bottom of his ribs; her eyes were drawn upward and a smile appeared on her face.

Mr. Tobey let out a gremlin-like chuckle as Kimberly spoke up, "Ah! Yes, where are my manners? This is Mr. Tobey, a close friend of mine. He's... Umm. Sort of like... Uhh. A travel partner!"

"Ahh... I see!" A sly smirk appeared on Alexandra's face. "I'm a little jealous!"

Way to go, Kim... You've got an impressive way with words...

"Huh?" She asked, before her eyes quickly widened. "N-no! It's not like that at all! I'm not into -- No!"

Mr. Tobey couldn't hold in his laughter anymore as Alexandra reached out and placed her hand on Kimberly's shoulder. "Oh, come now, friend. I'm just being silly! It's fun to wind you up sometimes!"

"Heh, funny..."

"Still, though..." Alexandra added, casting a glance at him. "If you're single --"

"Alex, stop," Kimberly sternly said.

"Okay, fine. Sorry."

Britnee shook her head. "She's not single, anyways. You haven't heard?"

"Heard what? You know I don't have time for gossip."

Britnee paused for a moment, then fixed her glare on Kimberly. "Heard that you're Petyr Milos' girlfriend. That true?"

"What business is that of yours?" Kimberly asked.

"Just a curiosity. You know there's photos of you and him together in The Breaking Wave, right?"

More rumors, sourced from the most notorious rag in the country. How had such rumors even started? How had they spread so far without her knowing about it? How deep did the rumors go, and what kinds of subjects did they touch upon?

"I'm Petyr's student," she said in an attempt to deflect. "Of course we'll have been seen together."

"The photos I've seen say you're more than just a student. Students and their masters typically don't hold hands and kiss on moonlit beaches."

A thin film of sweat had formed on her forehead, and her cheeks went red. Who was this Britnee girl, and why did it seem like she already had an axe to grind?

"Look at that, she's blushing. Knew it," Britnee stated.

"Photomanipulation is a thing, right?" she shot back. "You shouldn't believe everything you see in a magazine like The Breaking Wave."

"A convenient excuse, but body language doesn't lie. Wonder how far that little relationship of yours goes, eh?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Britnee," Alexandra said with a stern tone.

"C'mon, the guy's both a dreamboat and a notorious skirtchaser. You're honestly telling me --"

"Britnee!" Alexandra scolded with the voice of an angry mother. "I've known Kimberly for years, she's not like that! I was just joking before, but this is a subject that makes her uncomfortable, so end it. She's right -- not everything you read in a trashy tabloid is fact."

"Just sayin'," Britnee retorted.

Alexandra's expression hardened. "And I'm just saying, you're not in school anymore. You're an adult now, it's best to start behaving like one. Enough with the rumors, that's all it ever is with you it seems like! Even more, you're moving into the realm of being a coordinator -- a certain level of professionalism and good manners will be expected of you if you ever hope to maintain your reputation. You can't just go around making scandalous accusations like that! What if people see how you're behaving and spread rumors about you? You'll be toast overnight once those go viral. Successful coordinators have lost their careers because they started doing the mean girl routine, and it'll happen to you if you do as well."

Britnee crossed her arms again and muttered quietly, before speaking up again, "Alright, maybe you've got a point. Doesn't change the fact there's a conflict of interest here, though, does it? Petyr's one of the largest sponsors of the Lanark Coordinator's Society, isn't he? What business does he have teaching one of the contestants?"

"That... is a good point," Alexandra said, glancing toward Kimberly as if expecting some sort of answer.

The truth was that Kimberly didn't have an answer; she hadn't thought of her relationship -- either professionally or personally -- with him in that manner. She wasn't at all aware that Petyr was one of the Society's financial lifelines. Was it even true? The source of such a claim was someone who was evidently a novice of gossip, one who struggled to distinguish fact from fiction, and it's unlikely that Petyr would hide such a thing from her. After all, she knew that he had spent the last few years distancing himself from the Society. Why would he be funding the Society in secret? Was he?

Well, well... Is Petyr lying to you about stuff already..? Not a good sign, girl...

"I'm not sure that he is a major funder of the Society. I'm pretty sure people who distance themselves from and openly criticize the culture of organizations don't throw stacks of gold at them."

"I find it hard to believe that you don't know for sure," Britnee stated flatly. "Unless he's hiding it from you."

"It's something I'll have to speak to him about, I guess. If he is, well... I don't want an unfair advantage. I have enough of those in my life."

"Hmmph," Britnee huffed. She tried to get a read on the time by looking at Alexandra's watch. "Hey Alex, what time is it?"

"Time for you to get a watch," Alexandra said as she raised her wrist.

"Ha ha. Real funny, mom. Think our room is free now?"

"Yeah! Should be!" She reached out and hugged Kimberly. "It was so good to see you again! Good luck at the contest! But remember: I'm the one who's gonna go home with a trophy."

Kimberly giggled and squeezed her tightly. "Probably! I'm definitely not going to be ready for this in time, but it'll still be tons of fun!"

As the two broke away and made their way down the stairs, Mr. Tobey crossed his arms. "I like that Alex girl. Good sense of humor on her."

"She's a real gem!" She poked him gently in the side with her elbow. "Well, you heard her, she's single now!" she sang in a mirthful tone.

"Ha! I don't need any distractions like that. Dunno if I could handle step-children, anyways..." He paused for a moment. "That Britnee girl, though... Man, a childish brat."

"I got that impression as well..." she said with a shake of her head.

"You watch yourself around her. I can protect you from physical threats, but I'm no match for a gossip girl like her. I don't think a court would be lenient if I squashed her like a bug."

Wow..! The thought of hitting women has entered his mind, even if he finds it distasteful... You have to separate yourself from this guy before he decides hitting you would be a fun way to spend his evenings...

She cleared her throat. "Well, uhh. She brought Petyr up. Umm. I don't know if you know --"

He nodded. "I do. Your mother told me."

"Tt. Of course she did... So, are you going to play nice?"

He placed his massive, meaty hand on her head and ruffled her hair a bit. "Kim, I'm a friend, not your father. I'm not going to stand in between you two. And if you want some private time with him, that's all you gotta say."

"O-oh! That's reassuring to hear!" she said, happily. "Thank you."

Well then... Is it his decision to give you some free time with the boy, or your mom's..?

• Added a profound quote to the chapter heading
• Various tweaks to grammar and dialogue

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